Page 53 - Masala E-magazine Vol 9 Issue 6 Junel - July 2018

Never mind

Was it just me, or did you often hear, “Koi gal nahi beta,” which
translates to never mind, leave it, or let it go, to every single
display of negative emotion regardless of the magnitude? I got
it when I stubbed my toe, was not invited to a party, suffered
through a heartbreak — you name it. Angrily, I would respond
that I don’t agree with the sentiment, and I would get the same
response to that too; “Koi gal nahi beta”. How infuriating!

Now that the Thai Indian society is more exposed to the
Western world and their notions, we may be familiar with the
approach to ‘vent our anger,’ i.e. let off that emotional steam
to achieve catharsis. Catharsis can be soothing in the short-
term but only in very specifi c circumstances. In fact, the
opposite is true, as expressing anger generates more anger.

Bushman and colleagues (2002) in an article titled ‘Does
Venting Anger Feed or Extinguish the Flame? Catharsis,
Rumination, Distraction, Anger and Aggressive Responding’,
have shown that if someone provokes or threatens us, and we
resort to beating up a punching bag in an effort to release our
feelings, we will actually become more brutal. This means that
we would have to hit the punching bag more to feel better, but
we will most likely feel angrier more easily the next time we
are provoked. Furthermore, if we obsess about the person that
made us mad whilst releasing our anger, we will most likely
become more violent if presented with an opportunity
for payback.
“ The best way to deal with anger,

according to psychological research, is to
wait and not obsess about what angered
“
you; basically letting go.

The best way to deal with anger, according to psychological
research, is to wait and not obsess about what angered you;
basically letting go. If you wait long enough, your physiological
response to anger will eventually fade. Also, obsessing
over your anger, and even responding aggressively to small
instances, will only train your body and brain to respond more
angrily and quickly next time. Instead, exercise, meet up with
friends or literally take up the Koi gal nahi attitude and pardon
the person who hurt you. Witvliet and colleagues in their
study from 2001, ‘Granting Forgiveness or Harboring Grudges:
Implications for Emotion, Physiology and Health,’ revealed that
if you forgive the offender wholeheartedly, your anger will be
released in a healthy way, and your body will actually feel less
aroused. This ultimately means that your perspiration, facial
tension, blood pressure and heart rate will all decrease.

So next time your dadi says ‘koi gal nahi beta,’ remember that
there is more meaning in that simple advice.

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