Page 34 - Masala Lite Issue 168 December 2024

34 MUSINGS OF AN AUNTY GROUNDED IN REALITY

FAIRY TALES AND THEIR FAILS

Dolly Koghar unveils the real nature of fairy tales and nursery rhymes.

She also deliberately ignored the threat of snakes, Ariel and Belle; or like the papas of Cinderella and Snow
rodents and creepy-crawlies, and literally abandoned White, they didn’t wait till the wives’ corpses turned cold
the poor soul up there with a soiled nappy, hungry and before bringing home a wickeder-than-wicked sorceress
scared, to swing whichever way the wind blew. We as a stepmum. Then either he too dies off, or if alive, he

couldn’t help noticing that in the entire jingle, there’s turns a blind eye to the abuse being wrought onto the
absolutely no mention of the bizarre mum who left angelic and naïve bimbos, who are hopelessly-tolerant
the child there; not even after the “baby, cradle and and patient, and pathetically helpless.
all,” came crashing down to a horrible, mangled finale!

They’ve long made peace with the sad lot of their karmas,
That got our curiosity piqued and we dived into Disney’s and gladly wash, scrub, and polish away whilst singing
Princess Series; be it Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, to rodents, cute bunnies, and birds. They dream that
y granddaughter is a preteen, but could Ariel, or Belle – these girls are tall and lissom with “someday, a prince will come” to save them from their
easily be my dadee-ma with all the of Barbie’s unrealistic waistline; possessing shampoo-ad- miserable plight, since those of us belonging to the
‘know-hows’ and ‘know-whys’ she and her worthy, luscious, cascading hair, enviably free of split ‘fairer’ gender are supposedly incapable of taking care
generation have. Anyway, we got into analysing nursery ends and frays; framing their blemish-free, translucent of ourselves, and need a macho, handsome man on
rhymes, which while obviously meant for tots and little skin and apple-red cheeks, cute little noses in perfect horseback to take us somewhere beyond the rainbow,
children, have extremely cruel and sadistic undertones symmetry with their huge, doleful eyes; perfect, but with to live “happily ever after!”
and till date, have quite surprisingly managed to escape tragic lives. The birth mother of these girls is usually dead
the angst of our society’s wardens. It’s also pretty obvious before her time and despite her genes being responsible Fairy tales end on that note, which is asking for the
that we haven’t been listening in to the meaning behind for these girls’ perfection, she doesn’t even get a passing impossible in a marriage. After all, even if it is a union
the rhymes and stories we encourage our naïve and mention; except for Aurora, whose parents were present between the prettiest and most docile of damsels with
innocent kiddos to play-act to – for example, “Ring a at the beginning, through the long nap, and awoke in the most chivalrous dork, there’s bound to be trouble
Ring o’ Roses” refers to the horrible Black Plague, and it time to organise her grand wedding to the prince. in paradise, whether it be over interference from the
actually has the singers ‘drop dead’ with a single sneeze! in-laws, the kids’ upbringing, money or personal space.
The dads are bumbling, inept, and hairbrained, and Maybe it’s about time I write a more realistic fairy tale,
Then, there’s that all-too-familiar lullaby, “Rock-a-bye
without their wives pretty clueless about bringing up but then it wouldn’t be a tale!
Baby,” which even as non-native English speakers, we’ve
daughters. So either they let them lose, as in the case of
crooned it to our lil’ darlings to lull them into a deep,
peaceful slumber; safe and secure, loved and protected.
Thank the gods that our bambinos couldn’t understand
a word of this cradle-song, lest they be traumatised for
life. How could any birth mum, unless she was crazier
than crazy or, in the tradition of fairy tales, was a witch
disguised as a stepmum, place her sweet, hapless little
baby in a cradle high up on a tree top? It beats all odds,
how she got up there with “baby, cradle and all,” unless
she had an accomplice, or flew up and down on a broom.

MASAL A LITE ISSUE 168 - DECEMBER 2024