Page 20 - Masala Lite Issue 165 September 2024

20

The situation: Relationships. The situation: Parents.
The lie: Who you are dating. The lie: How amazing their kids are.

Dating? We don’t even know what that word means Of course your little cherub is the best. No one doubts
because no way would we ever start a relationship that — except maybe parents themselves. So they do
unless it was for a marriage arranged by our families. If preventative damage control by hyping up their fantastic
we are seen with someone, they are definitely our “study children to anyone who will listen. Their kid learned to
partner” and we were holding hands over candlelight run as soon as they were born, is the smartest one at
to mentally prepare for our “physics exam”. And the school, the CEO at their workplace, would never dream
An unreformed party girl and mother person we are constantly texting late into the night? of getting a tattoo, and definitely does not drink alcohol.
of two,writer, editor and observer You’re mistaken, that’s us typing out the draft for our Oh, but you’re sure you saw them holding a bottle of
Sumati Huber tries to admission application to medical school. whiskey at a bar? No, no, they were just taking it away
make sense of our unique from their “bad influence friends” to teach them about
Thai-Indian society and the aunties The situation: Time management. the dangers of drinking.
that she will one day become. The lie: Your estimated time of arrival.
We can blame traffic all we want, but punctuality is
not high on the list of things Indians find important. A
meeting time is viewed merely as a suggestion, not a
Lies Indians Tell binding condition. However that doesn’t stop us from
Now, we aren’t questioning the integrity and ethics of messaging, “On the way, be there soon!” when we are
our lovely community. But there are some traits we very much not on the way and still sitting in our towel
Indians possess that may occasionally require us to tell on the bed staring at the wall. But hey, you can always
a little lie to help preserve our reputation. If you ever blame traffic again.
find yourself in the following situations, you may have
heard or even used these fibs: The situation: Money.
The lie: How much we pay for things.
The situation: A dinner party.
The lie: How the food was prepared.
Chasing the best deals could be an Olympic sport in
which Indians will definitely win gold. No one wants
Indians take immense pride in serving their esteemed to admit that they paid 100 baht for a kilo of tomatoes
guests only the best homemade food that tastes when the next shop is selling it for only 50 baht. So
Michelin-worthy. In order to flaunt their culinary status, we boast how we are amazing at finding things for
they may sometimes alter the truth that the food was cheap, how little salary we pay our staff for fantastic
made with absolutely no oil, sugar, or salt, and used only service, and all the times we have been successful at
the best organic ingredients flown in from a small village getting discounts. On the opposite end, we may also
off the coast of Italy. Everything is “healthy”, made with go overboard in inflating how much money we make
love, and god forbid, never ever catered because we do at our jobs.
not believe in “outside food”.

MASAL A LITE ISSUE 165 - SEPTEMBER 2024