Page 34 - Masala Lite Issue 158 | February 2024

34 MUSINGS OF A ROMANTIC AUNTY

Is Love Really a ‘Many-Splendored Thing’?

Dolly Koghar Dolly Koghar muses on how logic has diluted love.

Ours was an arranged “Love is a many-splendored thing Animals, despite
marriage, and as ‘modern’ It’s the April rose that only grows in the early spring (or perhaps because
as modern could get all Love is nature’s way of giving a reason to be living of) the lack of the
those donkey-years ago, The golden crown that makes a man a king” so-called capacity
our parents let us teens to think logically,
‘date’ through the long The point to note here is, if love makes man a king, understand and
engagement. That is, we why isn’t it sufficient for any of us? Why are we, who imbibe love in
could see each other whenever often profess undying love to someone or another, a purer form;
then-hubby-dear-to-be was in still in this relentless pursuit for money and fame – unselfish and giving.
town from his college in India, for a bigger house, or a Porsche that we can barely Although they,
or the Singapore or Osaka offices. climb into? Often, we throw caution and morals too, spend their
On one rare, unchaperoned ‘date,’ to the wind and sometimes stoop low enough to lives building nests
my romantic self chose to watch the William commit heinous crimes for that elusive fulfilment, and nurturing their young,
Holden and Jennifer Jones starrer, Love is a Many- contentment, completeness, or whatever it was that snuggling and nuzzling them, they neither stress
Splendored Thing (1955), which could very well we were searching for or expecting from love. themselves nor their brood to go beyond survival
have been a rerun, since Bangkok back then wasn’t skills. They are practical and possess the sensibility to
abreast of either Hollywood or Bollywood releases. To our ‘developed, logical’ brain, love, like everything effortlessly let go when it’s time, and unlike us, don’t
Those days, our theatres screened predominantly else, translates as a transaction, a give-and-take, expect undying loyalty and obedience. Nor do they
Thai movies, mostly of the scary, folklore genre, the an action that expects a reaction; one that earns cling on with the selfish assumption of servitude for
most unforgettable being Mae Nak Phra Khanong us something equivalent, or better still, in a larger their old age from their offspring.
(1992), after which the undead Lady Nak’s reign of portion. We’ve worked ourselves into unrealistic and
terror spread well outside the screen. Not even the disillusioned expectations that are impossible to The love of us mums for the children we bear is
considered the purest and most unselfish form
brave liked to drive by Phra Khanong soi 69 even live up to, including by our children. In all honesty,
mid-afternoon; it was eerie despite urbanisation who amongst us can deny the soft spot we reserve of love, along with the sacrifices it entails, but it
creeping in and getting rid of the khlongs and the for that one child who somewhat lives up to our doesn’t come anywhere near close to the sacrifice
of the humble arachnid mum from the stegodyphus
lush trees lining both sides of the then-narrow expectations, or at least tries to?
Sukhumvit road. lineatus species, who unflinchingly lets her 80-odd
newly-hatched, voraciously hungry spiderlings eat
We are quick to fall in love and although we might
Anyway, not-yet hubby was bored to death with the deny it vehemently, even to ourselves, we are away at her body as their first meal.
soppy movie, while I sat enthralled; especially with even quicker to fall out of love. The accelerating So, in conclusion, we need to stop thinking too
the titular, award-winning song, “Love Is a Many- divorce rates are proof of this, as are the tales of much, and just open our hearts to love and be loved.
Splendored Thing” composed by Sammy Fain with shattered friendships and relationships over the Forget the whys and the whos and the whats and
Paul Francis Webster’s lyrics. Half a century on, it most trivial of incidences. But have our respective the hows. Love is the one thing that the more given,
still gives me goosebumps, its most famous lines dogs ever slackened their wagging and joy at seeing the more will come back. Definitely a profitable
being: us, however much they’re ignored or mistreated? transaction.

EY 1 to Ye 2
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MASAL A LITE ISSUE 158 - FEBRUARY 2024