Page 36 - Masala Lite Issue 167 November 2024

36 MUSINGS OF AN AUNTY PRYING OPEN THE SECRET INGREDIENTS IN FAST FOOD

OUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN

Dolly Koghar is repentant of the lost opportunities with her own brood.

Despite the earlier fuss and nakhra, once on ‘stage’, grand-kiddos’ activities and interests. Although I’d paid
hubby dear transformed into a showman; he instantly enough attention to their academic progress and talents,
formed a rapport with the 7-year-olds with his infectious little did I realise that what mattered more was my

enthusiasm and interactive style. Together, they tapped presence; silently affirming that, “I see you and I hear
into ‘Mr. Google’ for the number of languages spoken you, it’s perfectly ok whether you scored high or low,
in Bharat; of which there are 22 officially-recognised whether you won or lost a game, or made a big boo-

languages, over 120 unofficial languages, and more than boo on stage; I am here for you!” For me, back then, it
200 mother tongues spoken in homes! Dadoo came was a disruption and a nuisance. Regrettably, I bartered
home satisfied with a job well-done, which doubled those precious opportunities in exchange for keeping the

ell, the school year has barely started and that evening with a thumbs-up from our potta. Next house spick-and-span and placing a tasty, hot meal on
it’s already a term break. Just before these morning, we were back in school for the culmination of the table, set with matching mats and cutlery.
dratted holidays, my grandson’s elementary
school had an ‘International Week,’ during which parents both the term and international week with a parade of But then, I can’t be blamed; my own children weren’t
were invited to give a talk on their respective countries the elementary tots in their national costumes; featuring nearly as lovable and cute as this lil’ fella or any of our
in their kids’ class; about which we were getting a daily, our grandson in a kurta-pyjama, followed by a song we’d other grandchildren! In Punjabi we say, “soodh, mool
blow-by-blow account. Which was fine and dandy, till been hearing him practice for the last few weeks. naloh piyaree.” Translated, “the interest accrued is dearer

our grandson suddenly wanted us to come and do a Heading home, nostalgia of long bygone days swept than the initial sum,” i.e. to grandparents, the off spring

presentation on India; he even offered to make the slides over me: the times when I’d watched his papa, my son, of our own off spring are our real treasures!
for us to show his peers and teachers. I’m shy, whereas or any of my three girls take part in similar parades or
hubby dear is a natural, so I quickly passed the buck to on stage, performing cute little ditties.
him. But so engrossed was he in the gadget in his palm, Mostly, it was just me, since their pop was
that without looking up, he gave a snappy refusal. either travelling or in his Osaka office, but

he tried to be there for their sports days,

Dejected, the little chap trudged off without another
word, crestfallen and resigned to a no-show from where we ran with them, and when they
his family. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I held my grew taller than us, we watched them
peace till I heard him strumming on his guitar. I then from the sidelines. Then there were the
turned to hubby, sat him up, looked him in the eye, and oh-so-many times I’d sat on the small,
said, “Here’s our cherub of a grandson, who thinks we low elementary class stools, not believing
white-haired, stooping oldies are ‘cool’ enough to be that it was my child that the teacher was

introduced to his buddies; moreover, he’s confident attesting as well-behaved, co-operative,
that we’ll impress them. So, instead of taking it as a obedient, and attentive!
nuisance and waste of a day, shouldn’t we be flattered, But those memories were tinged with

and consider ourselves blessed?” The melodrama worked. remorse and guilt – I’d shortchanged my
The next day we were in school, as early as a whole own four, compared to the enthusiasm
hour ahead of schedule; a hard-to-kick Japanese habit. and effort I was now investing into my

Here below are how some of us have come to terms with the hand that life has dealt us:
• “Only enlightenment is now my one final wish, which seems far, and still many

lifetimes, away. Nevertheless, I’m happy, and hearing my plea, Guruji found me
and is helping me, a step at a time, towards the right direction!”
• “Is hindsight always 20/20 or are the words coined for comfort? It’s open to
individual interpretation and can be judged either way, with 50/50 odds of
whether a decision was bad or actually helped escape a calamity. There’s no
way of knowing whether things would have been better or worse; endless
possibilities could stem from my choices. The end result is, again, but one’s
perspective of whether you could or should have made this or that decision; or
you were saved by circumstances from the risks you wanted to take. Well, I’ve
pushed the nagging doubts behind, and I’m very good with where I am!”
QUE SERA SERA • “I’d very much wanted to be a nurse and help the mentally challenged, or work
at an animal shelter. Anything where I could be of use and assist a life. None of
it happened, but in hindsight, if I’d gone into any of these fields, I wouldn’t have

known my husband, and wouldn’t have been blessed with the two beautiful
souls that are my children!”
Dolly Koghar • “I badly wanted to go to college, get a job, and become independent and self-

and her generation reveal supporting, after which I’d definitely purchase a car for myself. But none of my
aspirations transpired; that was the case in our era, and I never even learned
how hindsight is 20/20. to drive. Nevertheless, I’m living life to the fullest; I have a life of ease and
independence to do things I want. I’m also having a blast travelling extensively
and often. Thank God!”
hen the carriage of life turns and twists, sometimes on such sharp,

hairpin bends, our mental equilibrium gets thrown off balance and • “I’d wanted to be a flutist, but my guardian wouldn’t hear of it. I still feel a

we ‘lose it’, succumbing to wailing, crying, beating our chest, sulking, connection and get transported when I hear the instrument. But what was to
or bashing whoever is near enough; we don’t even spare the Great Script Writer. be, has been.”
That’s especially true if we are stuck in a ‘my way or the highway’ mentality, which •
makes it that much harder when things don’t happen ‘my way,’ which it won’t. It’s “Of course, I had wanted to be something, do something and have a career.
Maybe doors did open for me, but regrettably, I never made anything out of it.
then, in our ignorance, instead of looking towards the doors left ajar, waiting for
But things work out in their own way, and I think it’s best that you make peace
us to enter, we spend our days wallowing in self-pity, grudging the interferences
with life as it unfolds!”
and circumstances that we believe dashed our dreams and high aspirations.
• “As a child I watched the maids clean and scrub and that became my aspiration,
However, time is both a healer and a teacher, and if we could just keep an open
then as I grew older, the air hostess job seemed glamorous – travelling and
and accepting mind, there’ll come a blessed day when a glimmer of light will shine
seeing the world. But today, I’m thankful those wishes didn’t materialise, as
through to give life a chance to explain itself, and if we are ready to hear what it
I’m seeing so much more of the world with my husband!”
has to say, we’ll experience the ‘AHA!’ moment. Our vision will expand and grant
us the wisdom and the understanding that the hindrances and disruptions that
once irked us were, in reality, purposely placed across our paths, to strengthen
us, and humble our bloated false egos.