Page 29 - Masala Lite Issue 165 September 2024

SOLITUDE

Dolly Koghar gives her generation’s perspective

on being alone versus loneliness.

Science easily explains away the gazillion stars, moons, planets, black holes, and
dark matter swirling in an immensely-immense, immeasurably expansive universe.
According to science, the universe is a broth brewed over eons, in which the elements
reacted and resulted in the Big Bang, from which everything emerged, including us;
eliminating God as Creator. I wonder what is credited as the source of the random
gases, rocks, ice and debris that, long ago, supposedly formed themselves into the
majestic heavenly bodies that we now see lighting up our skies (on the rare clear night).
But then again, what is an astronaut’s perception of space, when they are free floating
with nothing but a thin tube connecting them to the mothership, their one and only
hope of making it back home to Earth? Earth, in turn, appears as a tiny blue speck in
the dark, silent, and endless vastness, liberally dotted with twinkling lights, emitted
from stars from inestimably far-off distances, many long dead and gone, and many
more, just born. Does the astronaut ever feel alone, abandoned and lonely?
Well, I’ve never had a chance to meet an astronaut in real time, so I settled for
questioning my fellow seniors (and some youngsters) what emotion the word
‘alone’ evoked. I was pleasantly surprised that ‘alone’ didn’t conjure a melancholiac
connotation for our good ‘ol Bangkok community, but rather it was welcomed as
a time to reconnect with their inner selves. Even my 12-year-old granddaughter
translated it as, “no disturbance; a peaceful time.” As an avid bookworm, I’d guess, it
meant no disruption from her pesky six-year-old brother! Here are other perspectives
from the community:

• “I’m an ambivert: I love people, but alone time is sacred; a time to process my
deepest emotions.”
• “Alone is a physical solitary state with no one around; which is different from
lonely, which is being mentally and emotionally disconnected and isolated.”
• “Alone means being content with the company of myself.”
• “Alone to me is when and if I have no one in my life. “
• “Alone is when there’s no one to ask, even a simple, ‘how are you?’ ”
• “You come alone; you go alone. Alone is one-on-one time; time with God in my
thoughts.”
• “There’s strength in being alone, but being alone and yet happy has greater
power.”
• “Alone is being by myself without anybody around me, but not lonely.”
• “Alone is me time.”
• “It’s being serene and at complete peace, even in a sea of people!”
• “Loneliness is being ignored by family and loved ones. It’s also being idle, so it’s
good to keep busy.”
• “Earlier, alone meant sadness but now it’s a shut-off time to enjoy ‘me.’ Although
in the evenings, I oscillate: I hate it, but love it. I still get lonely, so I go for walks.”
• “It’s the one word that is simultaneously unfathomable, and so many other
words come to mind to describe it, that I shrug them off.”
• “Alone means all by myself, with no company. I love it; it’s me time. Although
I wonder if I’ll say the same if I’ll be alone at length for hours or days; it’ll either
be calming or drive me crazy.”
• “When there’s discord; when mind, body and spirituality aren’t aligned and if your
health is also compromised, then one is isolated, even from oneself. Although
being alone isn’t always sad, but physically interacting with others does help
dispel loneliness.”
• “Alone is a feeling of being isolated when our requirement from our contacts
and relationships aren’t met. Alone isn’t always lonely, it can be a peaceful time.”
• “Alone means ‘me time.’ I love being home, doing housework or cooking for the
family and reciting Gurbani. Sitting ‘alone’ but amongst sangat in gurudwara is
a blessed time; pondering on the past, while introspecting on becoming better
and more helpful.”
• “Alone has a double meaning. The good one: my space, my time to connect
with my inner self; gratitude, love and awareness. The bad one: it’s loneliness
caused by dear and near ones; deep sadness and inner loneliness when ignored
and excluded. Thank God, I’m well on the journey to discovering my own self-
worth to find strength in being alone.”

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