Page 34 - Masala Lite Issue 170 February 2025

34 MUSINGS OF AN AUNTY GRABBLING WITH THE UNSTOPPABLE TIME

THE ONE AND ONLY CONSTANT IN
CREATION IS CHANGE

Dolly Koghar on the advantage of impermanence.

Nonetheless, knowing full well
that change is inevitable, and
whatever is now will not stay
as is, and there’ll be a day when
it’ll disintegrate or be gone. I,
as a mortal, remain blindsided,
biased, and selective. I love to
see the grandchildren growing,
but it pained me to see my
parents age and eventually leave.
I’ve also, unrealistically, wished
t was just yesterday when the world was bursting for hubby dear and myself to
firecrackers and merrily ushering in the 1st of January remain young and as oblivious

I2025; the din has barely died down and we’ve already to each other’s flaws as we were

slid into the month of February. Alas! It was also just a when we first met.
few of these Februarys ago when I was young and vibrant, I am petrified of this indisputable

but changes took place unscrupulously and discreetly. and all-pervading nature of
And now, I can barely recognise the face staring back at impermanence; the uncertainty and unpredictability I thought I’d sit with this law of impermanence and
me from in the mirror, as the same me, that was.
trigger extreme anxiety and I live under a constant try to understand it a little better. I know, you know,
But then, it is said that ‘Time and tide wait for no man,’ shadow of dread and fear. However, I do retain some that nature and creation are never frivolous, neither
so I guess both have moved forward relentlessly and logic and haven’t quite thrown caution to the wind. So, is it unkind; everything is designed with wisdom and
there’s nothing I or anyone could do or can do to either I have succumbed to buying insurance policies ‘just in logic, whether we see it or not. So, then I experienced
slow them down or to stop them altogether. It’s in their case’ any unpleasant and unpredictable events visit me, a fl icker of eureka! The ‘balanced duality’ started to
wake, changes happen; nothing stays the same, nor can my loved ones, or my belongings. Or worst still, there’s make complete sense.
stay the same, nor can it last forever. This means that any a natural catastrophe, or our good ‘ol Thailand goes See, if the constant wind of change does not allow
and everything that exists is impermanent – uncertain through a political upheaval, or Trump turns the world anything or anyone or any one circumstance to remain
and temporary. This immutable principle isn’t just for around on its head. Despite the insurance and assurances, as is for any length of time, then, in as much as the good

you and me and ours, but for every written word, every it’s difficult to come to terms with unstoppable changes times don’t last, no matter how much we’d like them
carved stone, every painted picture, and every civilisation, that continuously shake my world. So, I blindfold my to. Subsequently, we can take comfort in knowing that
no matter how great or powerful they were. Nothing eyes and continue to invest my emotions into my neither will these unpleasant and difficult times. ‘This

is exempt; even the mighty mountains, the expansive relationships, belongings, and into my own self, knowing too shallpass’! Therefore, come what may, they’ll not
continents, the far-off planets, and the stars; even for sure-as-sure-gets, that everything will eventually give stay, but blow over to make way for renewed growth and

the black hole itself, is continually undergoing change way to change or breakage or total dissolution. I am well a chance for betterment; the next shift, the next change,
and deterioration, towards that eventuality when it’ll aware that this inability to accept the glaring reality will will throw doors open for endless new opportunities

crumble into nothingness, like the leaves and flowers bring me pain and grief, rejection and disappointment. and possibilities waiting for you and me!
that vanish after summer!
lives or unnecessarily dying, waiting for any one of those organs, which, if pledged, are
priceless to someone else. I also learnt that skin tissue, bone marrow, or one kidney and
partial lobes of the liver, lungs, and pancreas can be donated while one is alive, giving
a new lease of life to someone else, with the donor able to continue living normally.
Although the topic touches on mortality and our nearing reality, it’s a sensitive issue
for us seniors; nevertheless, here below, we’re sharing our thoughts on organ donation:

• If it can save lives (or be used for research), then it’s a no-brainer. Dead bodies
are burnt and turn into ashes anyway, with or without organs; the soul remains
and lives on.

• We siblings wanted to honour our mum’s wish, but couldn’t; she was, unfortunately,
too old.
• Absolutely for it and I intend to very soon (when I have time). I will also be looking
into palliative care options, as I don’t want to be bedbound.

• It’s a noble deed, and if my organs are viable at that time, then why not recycle?!
WHY NOT LIVE ON AFTER DEATH? • Well, It’s the most charitable and highest form of thing to do with no strings
attached and no funds or money exchanging hands to help a fellow human.
• Otherwise, it’s a good deed; but the thought scares me and so, no, I won’t do it.
Dolly Koghar realises that there’s a lot to give,
• When my father passed away, the process couldn’t be done since we siblings
even after we are gone. couldn’t come to a common decision. So, to avoid confusion and conflict, I’ve

decided to register myself at the Chulalongkorn Hospital and make sure to inform
ranted, Japanese serials are a tad slower than the more popular K-dramas, but my family.
I am a fan of both. They boast of grounded plots enacted with understated • I’ve been considering it seriously, and will soon discuss it with my children.
Gsensitivity and fi nesse that eff ectively convey powerful yet relatable human
desires and emotions, riding past and above all cultural and geographical diversities. I • A must-do slogan, especially for the eyes. My brother and his friends, along with a
could barely hold back my tears watching the 8-part Nihon dorama (drama), Sayonara doctor’s visit at home, where someone had just passed away, requested a donation
no Tsuzuki (Beyond Goodbye), on the terebi (TV). of eyes. So, when my mom passed away, and being the only sibling there, he took
charge and donated her eyes and followed up on who it went to.
The backdrop is the sweeping, breathtaking snowy mountains of Hokkaido, where the
goofy and vivacious Yusuke had planned a surprise proposal for his girlfriend, Saeko, • Mixed! Very noble but personally quite scared!

which nosedived; he died in a snowslide. Saeko falls into deep despair but then finds • Enlightened souls say that it’s only the human life that’s a platform for spiritual
an inexplicable connection to a stranger: the introvert and happily married, young growth so what more precious gift can I give when my time is done? I look forward
dad, Naruse — who, by a twist of fate, had received Yusuke’s heart and now, eerily to a new healthy body and another shot at spiritual growth in a more conducive
echoes her late fiancé’s memories and personalities.

environment.
The love angle was, of course, poignant, but what struck me was that one death meant
• I’ll donate sight, although I am slightly squeamish about cadaver harvesting.
life for another. It got me thinking that at my death, my kidneys, lungs, corneas, liver,
pancreas, intestines, heart valves, heart, tendons, bones, bone marrow, and skin • I wonder if there’s living memory in each of the donated cells and whether they
automatically die with me. That’s unless I do my last good deed and even hope to live adapt, overpower, or let go of their old ones to take on the new and if that makes
on in the infants, toddlers, teens, and men and women currently living compromised organ donations successful.

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