Page 31 - Masala Lite Issue 157 January 2024

COMPLIMENTS

Dolly Koghar gives her generation’s take
on compliments that felt genuine and made

their day.

As we age, compliments on looks are hard to come by. After all, how much can one
expect, “What nice wrinkles you have!” or, “Your paunch and saggy boobs really
suit you!” Or for men, “I’ve never seen a shinier or cleaner pate!” or, “You look so
hot with the hairs sprouting out of your ears,” or someone finding their straggly,
bushy, and unruly eyebrows even sexier! I wasn’t specific enough when I sent out
the questionnaire to my senior buddies about a genuine compliment they had
received and one that would bring a smile to their face whenever they recalled
it. It needn’t necessarily have been about appearances, but more like a pat on the
back; however, the womenfolk stereotypically focused on looks although none
of them could even vaguely recall receiving one from their spouses, except for a
single, extremely lucky lady, for whom the praise was understandably, too precious
to share. Here are a few that they received unexpectedly and ones that mattered.
• A woman who’d entered the elevator she was already in said, “You are beautiful!”
• In Mumbai, when a fellow passenger in the immigration line overheard her salt-
and-pepper-haired son calling her, “mum,” he passed a compliment saying, “you
look more like his younger sister than his mom!”
• Being referred to as, “calm and down to earth.”

• When one household maid said that she wished for a mother like her.
• When a son of a friend’s friend said, “Aunty, you have a lovely smile, and by the
way, I have a friend with a very similar smile” – which turned out to be that of
her own son!

• When her friends expressed appreciation for her going out of her way to be
helpful.
• Her silver hair garners a lot of compliments, either in admiration for being able
to go natural, or for how nicely the color has turned out. She cynically reminisced
that, “I’ve certainly never received a similar compliment from my husband in all
our years of marriage!”

• His daughter wished that she’d be able to bring up her daughters in the same
way that he’d brought her up, and what better compliment can a parent dream
of?
• Although he’d often joined a resident band performing once a week at a Sukhumvit
pub, there was one evening when his rendering of a few ol’ time ‘rock & roll’
numbers roused the crowd to sing and dance late into the night. The best part
was the unexpected and touching compliment received from a young man
who’d felt his distress melt away like magic from the performance. It left the
singer dumbfounded that he had, however unwittingly, been instrumental in
helping the young man through the healing power of music. It also changed his
perspective about singing live on stage: he learned that it’s neither the song nor
the singer, but the attitude during the short duration of the song, which should
soothe and uplift the listener’s spirit.

• She was thrilled when she met-up with long-time friends, who thought she still
looked the same!

• It’s gratifying for him that people who meet him for the first time find him very
easy to get along with.

• A compliment that has left her elated till now, and one she never ever expected,
came from a total stranger; a cab driver. Neither young nor old, and totally
sincere, he stopped for her after many cabs had passed by her and said, “you
are an exemplary lady for your age. Your upright spine and your unpretentious
way of dressing is why I stopped for you.”
• Although he knows he’s fat, but being told he’s a loveable and cuddly teddy
bear, and one who felt safe and reliable to be around, made him feel better.
• When someone said, “Tusee great ho! (you are great)” to him, and meant it.

• Having been told, “You are brave to say it like it is.”

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